Sunday, August 30, 2009

Six Month Mattiversary

Last night, Matt and I celebrated our first six months together.  He took me back to Eastside Cafe, where we went on our first date.  Although we hadn't requested it, they seated us at the same table we sat at six months ago.  That made our celebration dinner even more special, and the food was wonderful as always.  Then we went to Brown Bar to continue our night out and toasted with two sweet and well-mixed martinis.  Yum!  We wrapped up our evening at home watching Across the Universe.  All and all, a delightful evening with my darling.

Thursday, August 27, 2009

Mayday! We have a tree down!

I hoped like crazy that it would rain yesterday.  Austin needed some rain and I've been fighting a cold.  I'm feverish, sweaty, can't taste or smell anything, and am a sneezing machine.  I had no interest in watering but knew I'd have to soon since it's 100 degrees around here daily.  Well, I got my wish, and more.  It rained, it thundered, it brought winds reported up to 60 mph.  Sadly, there was a casualty in this over-an-inch-of-rain tempest: The Little Tree That Couldn't.

The Chinese Elm to the right of my yard didn't survive.  Rather, it fell against the house!  I am so lucky it didn't cause structural damage to the house nor hit my car, which was not in the garage.  Now, I had no idea it had fallen until some nice neighbor knocked on the door.  Do I answer nice neighbor?  No, I freak out, because it's 10 PM and I'm alone at home because Matt's in San Diego for work.  I tried to call him then but his ringer was accidentally set to silent.  Marielle answered, I felt better.  I got off the phone, opened the door, and found myself face-to-face with a tree.  Its branches extended right to the entrance.  I finally got a hold of Matt, felt so much better just hearing his voice, and we arranged next steps in dealing with it.

This morning, an arborist came by and said the tree didn't have good roots at all, he showed me, and that it's a good thing it didn't fall later in its life when it would have been bigger!  A mixed blessing?  Reluctantly, I must admit that it is, though I will miss having that tree there.  He is coming back this afternoon to take it away and then we'll see if any damage was done to the house at all.  Insurance is also coming by.

Morals of the story?  Don't plant Chinese Elms, they are loser trees.  And boyfriends shouldn't go out of town because then their girlfriends get sick and trees uproot themselves...okay, okay, strike that.  But I can't wait for Matt to get home!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

Waiting, crying, loving

I recently read The Time Traveler's Wife and watched The Notebook and I realize there are strong themes that both of them share.  These themes particularly draw me in and speak to me.  They are the themes of waiting and of unyielding love, fierce and constant.  In The Time Traveler's Wife, Clare, wife of time-traveling Henry, endures her husband's erratic absences for minutes, hours, sometimes days.  She is constantly waiting for the next time she will be reunited with her love.  Sometimes she has to wait many lonely years.  Yet she never falters in her love for him.  In The Notebook, Allie does not receive the daily letters Noah writes her after she goes off to college.  Without knowing this, he continues writing for a year, every day, 365 letters.  Despite not hearing from her, he sets out to build the dream house she described to him that memorable summer they spent together, when they fell in love.  Against all odds, he waits for her, and his love for her does not fade over time.  A series of events ultimately reunites them, but their fairy tale story dissolves when Allie's Alzheimer's disease advances such that she forgets who her love is.  Heart-wrenching scenes show Noah patiently reading the story of their lives together, dancing, eating, and other activities to take care of Allie and help her remember.  There is a beautiful scene when she does remember him, but then the disease returns as swiftly as it paused and Allie becomes terrified of this "stranger" near her.  Saddened but loyal, Noah stays with his love, waiting for her to remember again and reunite their forgotten love.


I can identify with these themes, as someone who has waited a long time for the right person to come into my life.  On a much smaller scale, my love is out of town all week for work and so you could say that I am presently waiting as well.  Until I find more work, I will be waiting for him to come home from his job each evening.  Waiting, waiting, and loving intensely, fervently, passionately.  This week, Matt and I celebrate our first six months together.  I am very happy.  It is relevant now to mention also that once during The Time Traveler's Wife as well as The Notebook, I cried.  In fact, Matt came home while I was reading the novel and there I was, sprawled across the bed with the book, hot tears streaming down my face.  Of course, the only balm I needed was a few minutes cuddled up to him.  During one of the scenes from The Notebook that I described, I was also affected by it.  Both situations brought my thoughts back to my own love, causing the scenes to be made more poignant by the intensity of my own relationship.  I am reflective about this because aside from one movie (Imagine: John Lennon), I have never cried during movies or novels.  It is as though any remaining protective walls have fallen away and my emotions have been further unlocked.  I believe the relationship that Matt and I have has freed me of barriers and given way to intense feelings that could only have been borne out of absolute trust, love, loyalty, and comfort.  It is incredibly liberating and satisfying.  I am simultaneously at peace with my life as well as awed and excited by it.  Sometimes I stare at Matt or across a room in our house together in wonderment.  I simply cannot believe my luck in these instances.  And yet, here I am.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Reflections, Aspirations, and Celebrations

So much has happened since my last update that I find myself, as always, unsure where to begin. I guess I'm motivated to write because I don't want to forget all the wonderful moments leading up to this current point in my life. Also, since my life is now the equivalent of the "pause" button for the time being, it's a simple enough time to get caught up.

I met Matt's parents over Memorial Day weekend and had a great time getting to know them. Later in May, since I received my MFA, Matt kept his promise to take me on a celebration trip and we went to San Francisco for a week. We had an incredible time together and I found the trip to be romantic, relaxing, and gorgeous. I loved the area's tons of pink flowers, heart sculptures, sweeping views, rose gardens, and old, shady redwoods. Right after getting back into town, my summer job at The Alley started. In the back of my head, I'd always thought I'd end up starting a full-time job in Austin by then but as no offers were made, to Houston for seven weeks I went.

June and July represented a whirlwind of activity! I threw myself back into teaching drama full-time to 1st through 4th graders and loved being back at The Alley. My students were fun to work with and I enjoyed the two productions my students and I developed. My first group adapted Scaredy Squirrel in the Dark and the second group created The Wizard of Candy Oz Land. Each weekend, I went to Austin or Matt drove to Houston but during the week we were apart.

Whenever I was in Austin, we looked at houses with a realtor, something we had loosely talked about and started towards the end of May. The next thing we knew, we were finding houses we liked and making or contemplating offers. Finally, we found the perfect house. Both of us loved it from pretty much the moment we set foot in it, so much so that we made an offer that day! One thing led to another and we closed on the house July 20. I finished my summer position on July 25, our five month anniversary, and Matt came in town to see my students' performance and a show at The Alley on a double date with good friends. Then Sunday, my parents, Matt, and I all drove to Austin to move things into the new house.

We are all moved in now, just moving furniture around and getting settled together. The house is beautiful and I am still getting used to the fact that we live there. (As in, getting used to the house and garage and watering plants part...and getting used to the privilege of cuddling up to Matt every night.) The only catch to what feels like an everyday fairy tale to me is that I am now unemployed. Granted, I was a full-time graduate student through part of May then full-time teaching artist at The Alley for two months so it's not as dire as it sounds. I've applied over the past few weeks to around 30 positions in Austin, yet nothing has worked out yet for full-time. I did land a very part-time teaching position that I am quite excited about, so that's something worth grinning about, but it doesn't pay off my loans nor offer benefits.

The past two weeks were busy with unpacking and getting settled and gearing up to present my thesis research at a nationally attended presentation as part of a professional development debut panel session for emerging scholars. Tuesday morning, I'll read a six-page paper as part of the largest organization in the country for Theatre Education's conference. I am writing this entry, in fact, from New York City at my friend Helene's apartment.

When I return home to Austin later this week I am trying to decide what to do with my time. Certainly, part of that time will go to cover letters for job applications and searching openings on the Internet. I'll do house stuff to keep it nice and hope to [learn how to] cook some meals for Matt. Even when I get a full-time job, this thoughtfulness on outside of work next steps still applies because I am finally settling down, spreading my roots in a permanent address, and no longer in school. I am VERY eager to reclaim having a life, and I'm curious about what to fill it with--what would be the most satisfying, that is to say.

Helene and I watched Julie & Julia today and the movie inspired inward thinking about sense of purpose and partaking in hobbies for pleasure and passion. I certainly want to try cooking more and stop being afraid I'll screw it up since-honestly-who cares if I do, scrapbooking and gardening are other must-haves, but what else? I am toying with getting back into theatre, whether it is auditioning for plays or developing myself at improv. I also am realizing how much I need to throw myself back into going to the gym and attending gym classes. I've strayed away from that for too long and it's starting to get to me. So these are some of the next steps I am thinking about...this is not rocket science and most of what I'm saying is obvious, but it's still occupying my thoughts and worth writing about to me. I want to be intentional with my time.

Last week, I started diving into improv theory books I'd been meaning to read and I've found that to be really satisfying so far. I want to do more reading in general as well. When I do these activities and how it will all fit in to day-to-day and short-term and long-term goals, and life in a house with Matt (eeee!), that is a mystery I look forward to watching fall into place. I can feel my momentum picking up and my energy poised to spring into action now that I'm recharged and excited for life back in Austin, after my short stint in Houston.

I seek focus, optimism, perseverance, and centeredness to keep me going as I figure out the little pieces and work to get a solid job in Austin. And appreciation. I have so much to be happy about!

We'll see what the next update brings...

Saturday, April 25, 2009

I Have an MFA!!!

My latest fun update is that I passed my thesis defense yesterday! The Friday before that, after two insane days staying up crazy hours to FINISH the thesis (and slightly less insane days leading up to that), I turned in 138 pages to my committee members and hoped for the best. Yesterday at noon I gave a twenty minute presentation, fielded around twenty more minutes of questions from my committee members and guests, then spoke privately with my committee. They recommended a teensy amount of revisions (woohoo!) and then signed off! Finally, Joan and I opened the lecture room door so she could introduce me as the department's newest MFA! This moment was commemorated with special guests: my parents, Matt, Marielle and Gary, Sarah and Leon, Yael, Shiraz, and Meital, Terry, David, Roz and Don, Craig, and Dr. Ovando.

Celebrations were indeed in order! I lunched at Eastside Cafe then relaxed at my place and chatted on the phone with Christa. My voice was gone from the presentation and I was exhausted and in shock that I actually was an MFA. Then Matt took me out to Clay Pit (yum) and we sat at the lower level which was this cave-like, candle-lit romantic room. Fun! Then we played some Spades at Cru and tasted wine flights.

Today, I slept late, caught up on the latest episode of The Office, attended Eyore's Birthday Party with Matt (Austin has some crazy, silly, random events), watched some Labyrinth, and Sarah took me out to Z Tejas. Now, more relaxation time until I cheer like a maniac for Matt in the Maestro improv show later tonight. I have an MFA, I have every right to play the fool all weekend. :)

I hadn't been able to think about what comes next beyond THESIS insanity. Now, I look in my planner and I like what I see--a whole lot of not much for a good chunk of time!! All I need to do is get a job and I'm all set...but I'll figure it out.

I am busy the next two weekends so thank goodness I don't have major thesis revisions! Next weekend, I am in Florida to be a bridesmaid in Linnea's wedding and the following weekend I am in Chattanooga, TN to present at an arts integration conference.

I feel light and carefree, so relieved and un-stressed, and HAPPY. Yay. :)



All smiles with my thesis advisor Joan after my defense

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Yipperooni! Introducing...My Boyfriend!



I haven't updated in a loooong time, which is typical of my blog to be sporadic anyhow, but I have good excuses this time. I am weeks away from my thesis defense and furiously writing. I have reached around 50 pages so far. Do I hear 55? 60? 65? Groan. Yes, in due time, my friends. Also, I've been otherwise occupied because

I have a boyfriend! He is wonderful and I feel very lucky to have him in my life. For the past month or so that we have been dating, I have been (and still am) on Cloud 9. Sigh... :)

And Matt posted entries on his blog about me, which made me happier than he could have imagined, or maybe he knew I'd like that...but anyhow, it meant a lot to me that he opened up and shared with his friends details about this person he is dating, even encouraging them to ask questions about me. I think putting my feelings out here in cyberspace about a significant other is kind of daunting, but I wanted to reciprocate as some sort of gift to him. Also, it's fun to ramble about how happy he makes me for any friends willing to read the sappiness. Here goes!

Soooo, here's the lowdown before I disappear into thesis land again. His name is Matt, he is my age, computer engineer, and he is an awesome improviser, a hobby he participates in for fun. He performs with his troupe and at other shows, too, and I think he is so funny and charming onstage as well as off. Matt also performs in improv shows for kids, how sweet is that. I'm biased, but it's the truth! And get this, he started doing improv to overcome shyness. What the heck? I'm not particularly shy but I couldn't imagine performing onstage without a script. Get me a script and I'm your ham, but not improv. I have lots of admiration for this man of mine.

Matt told me, without begging on my part, that since I love to go dancing so much, we can take dance lessons together and then he'll take me dancing. We're going to start swing dancing next week. I can't wait.

We have lots of stuff in common. He likes board games, too, and on one of our dates we played three rounds of Scrabble in a row! Anyone willing to play games, and repeatedly, without getting sick of it is awesome in my book. And we're a good match, too, we both have to put our game faces on to try to win. I taught him how to play Spades so we're playing some cards, too. He isn't a Monopoly fan but I am willing to see past this. ;) . He also likes hiking and we both have been to Mt. Rainier, Grand Tetons, and Rocky Mountain National Parks (I think that's all of them!) He is super silly like I am so we can be playful and random together! We share fondness for Lost, nature, fresh bread, crossword puzzles, cuddling, and dark chocolate.

He is really picky about dating, too. He somehow likes to do the little things that make me happy, or knows what I appreciate and does those things for me. He is also really easy to talk to and I love talking to him about everything. On one of our dates, we stayed up all night, just chatting about everything and anything.

Matt is a master at puns. He even won second place at The World Championship Punoff held here in Austin for his mad skills.

Last weekend, we went camping at McKinney Falls State Park with his work friends and I had so much fun with him. Two weekends from now, he is driving to Houston with me to meet my family and celebrate my birthday. I get to introduce him to my family and friends so they can see for themselves how awesome he is. Yay!

He now has to put up with the ups and downs (okay mainly downs so close to deadline) of my thesis writing process. I feel badly that he had to start dating me at this time but it's nice to have his support. Just thinking about him can temporarily soothe me from the stress of it all.

More soon, I'm sure...

Saturday, February 28, 2009

The Life and Woes of my Apartment

After my most recent apartment hiccup, I decided blogging the ridiculous issues I have experienced in 2.5 years of residence might be interesting.

Air Conditioning: My first apartment problem occurred soon after I moved here in August 2006. My A/C had almost no coolant left and in the Texas heat, it was becoming painfully apparent that the A/C was not up to the job of cooling down the place. More coolant was put in and a short few weeks later, the same problem occurred. A coolant leak was discovered and the entire A/C unit had to be replaced.

Months later, the thermostat broke and had to be replaced.

At the beginning of Summer 2008, a crazy Austin hailstorm literally struck down my A/C unit. It damaged the coils permanently and had to be re-replaced. This time around, my landlord splurged on a weather-protective cover as well.

Kitchen: Occasionally, for no good reason, the lights in the kitchen will not turn on. When this happens, pressing the reset button by power plugs in the bathroom fixes the problem.

The ice maker in the freezer has never worked, and the door to the fridge sticks and needs to be shut tight or it won't shut all the way.

The sink faucet started leaking one night and water ran down the counter onto some of my papers. A plumber had to install a new faucet. About a year later, the disposal got backed up and a plumber had to come out to clean it.

There is a chance that the kitchen light will burn out when turned on. This has happened a few times.

Bathroom: There is no exhaust fan and after a steamy shower, sometimes small yellow dots appear on the green painted walls. I think this is some kind of glue from above paneling sweating down but I'm not sure.

The shower occasionally would make a humming noise. It would sometimes turn into a shrieking noise and even escalate into rumbling on the bottom of the tub and wall where the faucet is. I finally decided this was driving me insane and getting too loud and a plumber fixed the problem on the second try by replacing the water spout. The technical term for the problem was that it was "hammering." That sounds unpleasant, too.

Window: The window has to be propped open carefully with a rod of sorts, looks like a long flashlight, because it no longer has working mechanisms to raise and lower and stay in place other than closed completely. Once, I had it open to air the apartment out due to problems I have yet to discuss. This was before I had the handy rod and the makeshift items I had used to hold it open fell with a gust of wind. The window slammed shut and the middle glass pane shattered. This resulted in having to have someone come and install a new pane. Also, a cable cord outside the window connects up to the roof. I have tried to have this cord removed but to no avail. When it's windy, it slaps against the building and makes spring-like sounds. Not fun. In fact, it's windy right now...hmm.

Construction: Lucky for me, I get to live here for all sorts of construction (sarcasm!). My unit just happens to be directly below the main "hallway" up in the roof. I thought it was my imagination until that was confirmed. Yes, I indeed could hear feet above me every morning for a long time. Why? Because the entire roof was being replaced at my apartment complex. It finally got so loud, I was convinced the ceiling would cave in, workers were going to fall into my apartment, and I would be crushed. I expressed concerns to my landlord and soon after that, plaster was literally falling from the ceiling and my fan was shaking. I contacted maintenance to repair the ceiling and check on roof safety. They assured me that there was never danger of the ceiling collapsing but that yes, the force of the work being done had caused plaster problems and they'd take heed. To fix the ceiling, I had to arrange for maintenance to fill and paint over the holes.

Also during roofing construction, something harmed the A/C power connections/electrical. To fix the problem, new wiring had to go from the control box in my bedroom to the A/C unit. This involved cutting a small hole on the wall between my bedroom and the hall by the A/C unit. Then that area had to be filled, sanded, and repainted. The process ended up covering my apartment with tiny specks of dust from the wall. It looked like it had snowed dust everywhere. I took a picture, sent it to my landlord, and arranged to have a maid clean the mess.

Currently, the building behind the parking lot was demolished and now a parking garage and other things are being built. Basically, I live next to dunes of dirt and dust that blow grit everywhere and I wake up to the beeping of cranes backing up. The apartment pool is in the process of being resurfaced.

Water heater: Over Winter Break beginning of 2008, the water heater broke and leaked not into the living room (aka Sarah's chateau), no no, but into my room. The water built up while I was in Houston. I came back and discovered the pleasantries when I went to dump my trashcan and noticed the bottom was wet. Under closer inspection, it was also covered with tiny, moving bugs. I don't "do" bugs. Looking around my closet and vanity area, I discovered more small, unpleasant bugs in the carpet and feasting on papers and notebooks that were stacked on the floor. This time, the landlord had to fly in from California to help me deal with the problem while I stayed in a hotel a few nights and then with Marielle for about a week. Mold remediation, that's the term for what we had to do. Everything, and oh I do mean everything, had to be removed from my bedroom. The only item I refused to move was my beloved dresser, which is bubble gum pink with dancing dogs across the drawers. :) It may not survive another move, or least not the mirror attachment, so we covered it in plastic instead. Once everything was out of the room, the carpet was ripped up and replaced and the wall was knocked down and replaced, sanded, and painted. And, obviously, the hot water heater had to be replaced! This time, it was a tankless heater. Now, my showers actually stay warm for the entire time...who knew?

When carpet was replaced in my bedroom closet, a small hole in the wall connecting bedroom closet to living room was left. Ants somehow got in this way and hung out in my dirty laundry. I cannot handle ants. This was the second ant problem, the first ant problem occurring months earlier under my computer desk, again, through some small gap in the wall. Before the problem was fixed, I found a few desk ants moonlighting on my laptop or strolling down the walls. Not tons, mind you, but enough to make me antsy. The rest of the ants roamed the carpet underneath. The closet ants enjoyed shacking up in my bras and hamper. Fortunately, sealing areas and exterminating the life out of them solved the problem. I really, really cannot stand ants. Whenever I'm anxious, ants appear in my dreams.

In recent news: The inspiration, if I can even call it that, for this entry is recent tragic events in the life and woes of my apartment. The apartment tenant directly below mine by two floors decided without alerting the unit owner to renovate the floors. In the process, he managed to spill polyurethane on the floor. Then, I am pretty sure it was improperly cleaned and unventilated for the day. This was a perfect opportunity for the fumes to waft up, becoming increasingly concentrated inside nearby apartments, in the halls, even out in the parking lot. This resulted in another round of hotel stays. Change/disruption is clearly not good for thesis writing! The only high points that came of this were playing with Sleep Number beds with Sarah at the Radisson (though we give them two thumbs down), staying two nights at The Driskill (free printing, winter snow globe, postcards, and toiletries are exciting for a grad student! But the hotel is one of the most famously haunted hotels in Texas and we freaked ourselves out, haha.), and staying two nights at the AT&T Executive Conference Center on campus and a stone's throw away from my EdPsyc class. I could see into the building from my balcony! Also saw Edward James Olmos at the hotel.)

Also about a year ago, there was a gas leak from the laundry room on the second floor. My nose detects all and I noticed it from inside my apartment, even when two friends came over and didn't smell anything. I called to report it and someone came out to check--yup, I was right, definitely a leak. Very low levels in the apartment, but when they went onto my balcony outside it was much stronger.

During my first six months living at the apartment, TWO Apple computers broke. Coincidence? I wonder...

And yet, I continue to live here. Sigh.

To be continued? I hope not!